I dreamed I kept walking by a pet shop in a mall, and there was a game at the back, and every time I walked past, they were giving some kid a different weird prize that they were calling a shark leg. The first one was a really slender, turquoise and forest green plastic lamprey. The second was the hind-quarter of a black dog. The third was an ice cream cone. But that kid's mom looked right at the game's host and said she was calling the cops, and when he protested, she insisted he remove the stolen gun from her son's ice cream cone. He did so and the whole game speedily decamped.
So I went into Half Priced Books, and I was thrilled to find a copy of A Hundred and One Dalmatians, the book Disney based their movie on. I always liked the book better, and it was my very favorite for a long time when I was little. So I bought it for $7, so I could read it to all my little buddies when they came to visit. Then I started wondering if I'd actually sold my copy, and was now buying it back, and how ridiculous that would be.
I went home for the holidays, though, and verified that Mom still had my old copy. I spent the night at our house in the hill country, and then we were all going to drive into San Antonio to work, then meet up again out at La Grange. Mom kept asking me to do things to help out, but I kept finding them impossible to do. Like, I was supposed to go get something from the garage, but it wasn't where she said it was, and when I went back to ask her where else to look, she told me to go pack up our matching Christmas shirts, and also our plain white shirts, in case that looked better in the family portrait, but I hadn't brought my Christmas shirt or white shirt because no one told me.
When I went back to tell her this, she said no, what she had asked me to do a hundred times now was to feed the boys breakfast, because my friends' two boys were staying with us. So I went to pour them cereal, but it kept disappearing from the bowls, so I put Poptarts in the toaster, but they never came up, so I started browning some sausage in my cast iron pan, but it evaporated, so in desperation I threw in some leftover macaroni and cheese, and that finally stayed whole, and warmed up, but when I served it, both boys were yelling at the top of their lungs, but I couldn't figure out what was wrong, but it was now 8am, and I needed to get to work.
But Mom said, well, first you need to bake the cake. And then you need to do the dishes. Or you could do them after work. And I reminded her I was leaving straight from work to go to Momo's like everyone else. So she said that was fine, but I just needed to get these other chores done. I finally just walked out to get in my car to drive to the office, but my car kept turning itself back around.
Finally I got the car to stop bringing me back home, and I was running really late, but instead of taking me into work, it took me to this house full of dogs. Which at first seemed cool, but none of the dogs were interacting with me doggishly, and it was kinda weird for so many of them to be in a frat house, and then the frat guys came home, and when they called each dog by name, it shook itself like dogs do when they're wet, and transformed into a gorgeous young woman. These women then set about keeping the house clean, cooking dinner, and, of course, performing other services behind closed doors.
One of the girls got mad at her "owner" and turned back into a dog, snarling, hackles raised, ready to attack. But the frat boy shook himself and became a dog also, and they got into a vicious fight, until he pinned her by the throat and then proceeded to assert his dominance in every possible way, at which point, thankfully, I woke up.
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